The Way of Things (part 1)

It's another day; just another day.

Nothing special seems to happen anymore, and in ways that's how I like it. I can't see as well anymore, and my body makes noises it didn't always make. I guess those things can be expected. I guess they're just things I'll have to live with now.

It's amazing how quickly things change; how quickly things degenerate. There aren't too many things that get better with age, and the things that do are usually consumed anyway. And then, inevitably, they reappear in forms that I'd classify as fairly "degenerative", too.

I don't know. Maybe there's no point to what I'm talking about. Maybe there's no point to me. After all, it's just another day. It's just another day, and that's the way of things.

There was a time when things were different. There was a time when I mattered, and people counted on me. You could call me a hero, and aside from a general notion of humility, I'd accept that as fact. Those days are over, and all that's left of my strength is my ability to surf through television channels with mind-numbing agility.

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"Seth? Seth are you in there?" The knock on the door and the constant barrage of questions regarding my presence and state of health were quite annoying enough to warrant my answering.

"What do you want, Allison?" I asked while sliding back the deadbolts and opening the door to my apartment. "And before you ask, I haven't been drinking."

"I just wanted to check in on you. The other nurses…"

"The other nurses said I'd be off the wagon, right? The other nurses said I'd be huddled in a corner naked, shaking and drowned in sweat, right?" I had been out of the hospital for over three weeks now, and still I had to put up with the incessant badgering of my former health care providers.

"The other nurses gave me the afternoon off," Allison said rather dejectedly. I was often too hard on her, and she certainly didn't deserve it.

"Well, I'm sure they're thinking it. I'm sorry, Allison. I don't mean to take anything out on you."

"I understand, Seth. I completely understand." The sincerity in her giant hazel eyes was enough to sell me. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Nothing. That is, of course, unless you would consider staying with me for a while. I was beginning to depress myself."

"You have a tendency to do that," Allison said with a strange tone comprised of pity and accusation.

"Things just aren't the same for me anymore, and it's really taking me longer to get over it all than I imagined. You know, before all this started, there were times that I actually wished I could be like this. Now I am, and things are different than I had envisioned."

"Seth, everyone goes through changes. It's just part of life."

"People go through changes, but this isn't just a routine change. It's not like I'm just getting old. I've lost the ability to do all those incredible things I could do. I can't help people anymore."

"That's not true, Seth. You can still help people. You don't have to have fantastic abilities to help people."

I could see her logic. "Well, it certainly helps."